B(oston) Strong

Last weekend I had the fortunate experience to visit old faces in Cambridge and New York. Being in New England was one of the most refreshing times I've had in a long time. A locus for intellectuals... who have a mutual and strangely surreal dynamic that is not cutthroat, but rather communal vision to see each other succeed. I was a heavenly experience, in every sense of the word. I haven't felt more at home within a community...

And now I'm back in Chicago, and I can't shake this feeling...rather lack of feeling...that I'm missing this"Candide"-like optimism I'm supposed to have as a believer in God's authority in all things in this world. In Cambridge, I thought the world was my oyster! Ready to tackle my life.  And now here, I must make it a point to make objective insights in my life of ways He attempts to weave His will in my life... how (a single example) unique it is for a person of my educational and socio-economic background to be working as an EMT for example... and I don't just believe, I KNOW Good has placed me on this path... yet why am I still unhappy?

Perhaps it boils down to affirmation? Being confirmed by my peers? Should I try to be more relational? Or do I make myself to vulnerable too quickly?

What's Love Got to Do With It?

What makes love so dangerous is the only people who can hurt you deeply are the ones you allow to get deep inside your soul. The more you love someone the more that person can hurt you. When you give your heart away to someone, you entrust it to that person's care. Your beloved is free to do whatever he/she wants to do with it. You are left vulnerable and defenseless.

Isn't love grand?
(No wonder we're all searching for it)

But love is a thin red line. When you give up on love, everything else that makes life beautiful goes with it - joy, hope, forgiveness, compassion - they're all interconnected.

You might be asking yourself: "What if I never find love?" You can't be held responsible if you've searched for love, risked in love, even fought for love, and yet have always found it unrequited.  When love does not come to you, it breaks your heart, but when you do not give it away, it hardens your heart.

One thing stranger than our need to BE loved is our need TO love.

We are designed for love.

Can you be honest enough to admit how love pulls you

      woos you

             eludes you

                    torments you

sometimes all in the same day?

You were created for relationship. This is and always will be at the core of your being.

All of us have an intrinsic need to belong, and all of us are on a search for intimacy. No matter how many things about us are different, in this we are all the same - we al crave love.

It's as if were searching for a love we've lost. Or perhaps (more strangely) we are searching for a love we've never known but somehow sense IT AWAITS US.

We are created to know God and to know love. It is love that moves God toward us and love that pulls us toward Him. Follow love, and it will guide you to God.

It may be hard to accept, but you are the object of God's love. You were created out of love by him, and though you may not yet realize it, your soul longs to know this love. But it goes way beyond that. You are a creature of love. You are designed to love and be loved. Our search for intimacy explains our need for community, relationship, friendship, and acceptance.

We all long to belong. We are created to know love and to give love. Love is not a limited commodity. Love expands as we give it away. Love dies when we do not.

Without love there is no life. To love is to be fully human.


There is probably no subject ever discussed among human beings that is more captivating... more elusive that live.  From Aphrodite to Oprah, we look to our mavens to guide us through this tumultuous jungle of emotion. Every generation writes about love. We write songs about love.

We are driven BY love
                      TO love
                      even  FROM love.

"How is it hat the same thing that can make your life a rhapsody can also leave you gutted, like a dead fish wrapped in day-old newspaper?" Tina Turner 'What's Love God to Do With It?'

Ruminations on Dissimilarity

The other day, I was out with my brother, and we ran into some people collecting donations for Misericordia: an amazing organization that provides people with developmental disabilities a continuum of care and a network of services. I talk about my brother a lot. I am unashamed about it and proud to call him my own. So obviously, Henry Jaeyoon “Jay” Ham, who is on the ASD spectrum, immediately became the topic of conversation during pleasantries and introductions. Then THAT question came up.

“So is Jay an autistic savant? What kind of exceptional qualities/skills does he portray?”

Having heard questions like this all my life, I sort of just danced around the topic… talking about things he likes to do and so on… and in the course of this spiel, I began to see her eyes glaze over in growing disinterest… but she, like all others before her, still remained attentive, politely smiling and giving the occasional nod. At the end, we said our farewells; she had my dollar, and I had my small bag of sugary goodness.

On the ride home, with my brother nibbling away at a blueberry Jelly Belly, I began to ponder this nagging feeling I have every time someone asks that question. The extent to most people’s experience with someone with ASD the past few decades have been through the media, quintessential examples being the movie Rain Man, and current TV show Touch. Dustin Hoffman and David Mazouz both play autistic characters that are significantly disabled in a social sense, but who have a sort of purity and innocence that enabled them to play a central role in each narrative.  But these roles have established a stereotype in popular culture of autistic people as these secretly-super-abled disabled people (I hope that made sense). This, like most stereotypes, does an injustice to most people in the stereotyped category… what if you can’t count cards or the number of toothpicks dropped by a busy waitress at a glance, and instead face poverty or homelessness because places don’t want to hire even skilled employees who aren’t good at navigating social hierarchies?

That was really verbose, so I'll put it in another way.  “Why do we want autistic people to have superpowers?” Here's what I think… it’s because we’ve become a culture obsessed with exceptionalism. Deep down, I don’t think any of us can handle that fact that some people are just simply different without having something fabulously acceptable (whether it's by our own or worldly standards) as balance. Otherwise we’d just have to accept not just autistic people, but ANYONE, on their own terms.  And that’s hard and challenging and takes patience, work, and prayer.

Top 10 Myths about Introverts

Myth #1 – Introverts don’t like to talk.
This is not true. Introverts just don’t talk unless they have something to say. They hate small talk. Get an introvert talking about something they are interested in, and they won’t shut up for days.


Myth #2 – Introverts are shy.
Shyness has nothing to do with being an Introvert. Introverts are not necessarily afraid of people. What they need is a reason to interact. They don’t interact for the sake of interacting. If you want to talk to an Introvert, just start talking. Don’t worry about being polite.


Myth #3 – Introverts are rude.
Introverts often don’t see a reason for beating around the bush with social pleasantries. They want everyone to just be real and honest. Unfortunately, this is not acceptable in most settings, so Introverts can feel a lot of pressure to fit in, which they find exhausting.


Myth #4 – Introverts don’t like people.
On the contrary, Introverts intensely value the few friends they have. They can count their close friends on one hand. If you are lucky enough for an introvert to consider you a friend, you probably have a loyal ally for life. Once you have earned their respect as being a person of substance, you’re in.


Myth #5 – Introverts don’t like to go out in public.
Nonsense. Introverts just don’t like to go out in public FOR AS LONG. They also like to avoid the complications that are involved in public activities. They take in data and experiences very quickly, and as a result, don’t need to be there for long to “get it.” They’re ready to go home, recharge, and process it all. In fact, recharging is absolutely crucial for Introverts.


Myth #6 – Introverts always want to be alone.
Introverts are perfectly comfortable with their own thoughts. They think a lot. They daydream. They like to have problems to work on, puzzles to solve. But they can also get incredibly lonely if they don’t have anyone to share their discoveries with. They crave an authentic and sincere connection with ONE PERSON at a time.


Myth #7 – Introverts are weird.
Introverts are often individualists. They don’t follow the crowd. They’d prefer to be valued for their novel ways of living. They think for themselves and because of that, they often challenge the norm. They don’t make most decisions based on what is popular or trendy.


Myth #8 – Introverts are aloof nerds.
Introverts are people who primarily look inward, paying close attention to their thoughts and emotions. It’s not that they are incapable of paying attention to what is going on around them, it’s just that their inner world is much more stimulating and rewarding to them.


Myth #9 – Introverts don’t know how to relax and have fun.
Introverts typically relax at home or in nature, not in busy public places. Introverts are not thrill seekers and adrenaline junkies. If there is too much talking and noise going on, they shut down. Their brains are too sensitive to the neurotransmitter called Dopamine. Introverts and Extroverts have different dominant neuro-pathways. Just look it up.


Myth #10 – Introverts can fix themselves and become Extroverts.
Introverts cannot “fix themselves” and deserve respect for their natural temperament and contributions to the human race. In fact, one study (Silverman, 1986) showed that the percentage of Introverts increases with IQ.

Science

Having a handicapped younger brother, I've been exposed to many different ailments (both physical and mental).  I've seen and shared in a young child's joy when he had a new prosthetic limb so he could play soccer once again.  I've met a man who, after receiving an artificial heart a few years ago, was able to live long enough afterwards to meet his newborn grandson.

Experiencing these things brought me a deep fascination and longing to immerse myself in the future biomedical engineering.  It is the reason why I chose to choose my college major, and it plays a major factor in my decision to go to medical school.  I have experienced no greater joy than to share in another's chance at a normal life through the use of technology.

But then there's the other side of the spectrum.

Science and technology are neutral.  It is through the application of scientific knowledge does the trajectory of humanity's future point.  Einstein's E=mc^2 has been fundamental in both bringing energy to millions of people, and has also been responsible for the decimation of an entire race through the atom bomb.

Despite this movie being complete fiction (and a promo for a video game no less), it was an utterly sobering reminder of this fact.  As dramatic as the movie is, this sort of future is not an impossibility.  And I am deeply frightened.

Lord, Use Me

At a retreat, you have no doubt that the Holy Spirit is moving.  The lights are dim and you are in a moment of adoration and deep worship while the deepest part of your soul cries out and you exclaim "Lord, use me!!!"

Use me...I've said it... you've said it...

...but do we know what we're getting ourselves into?

John 9:2-3 begins His disciples asked him, "Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?"


Read the next verse and take the time to pause.. "Jesus answered, 'It was not that this man sinned, or his parents, but that the works of God might be displayed in him.'"


Am I truly a life that is willing to be used as a place for God to display His power?  But...

...

How can people ever see our God as a Healer without the presence of sickness?

How can people learn the God of grace without the wounded having been afflicted?

How can we know God as Provider unless we have also known deep need?

Is it possible to understand "peace that surpasses understanding" without having been plunged into depths of confusion and pain?

How can we proclaim our God to be the Restorer unless we have first felt the pain of brokenness?

We all love to rejoice in a victor; but do we welcome the battle?


...

How easily do I grumble!  When the battles come in my life, does the way I conduct myself bear witness to others that I KNOW in Whom I have believed!  Or do I doubt God's presence, care or power in the midst of said hardships.  Do I KNOW that He never leaves or forsakes me!  That I KNOW He works all things together for good?!

...Holy Father, may I trust you completely... May I truly be able to say "Use me".

living sacrifice

Be Still

For those of you that don’t know, I just finished the short marathon that is studying for the MCATs.  During the last several months, I often felt myself burnt out from all the equations and memorizing.  When we immerse himself in work worrying about getting things done and fighting for a favorable outcome, sometimes it feels like we can never do enough… or we don’t do things right.  Our instinct is to prioritize, often times incorrectly.  The To-Do List is never done.  Psalm 46:10 has kept me in check during these times and I know will continue to do so as I live for Him.

God says: BE …not “do”, or “get”, or “go”.  He says that WHO we are is more important than what we do.
In today’s American culture, sleep is becoming more and more of a scarce commodity.  How does any one of us find time to get enough rest?  There’s school, work, family, kids, work at church.  Unending projects -at home and away- are almost (but not quite) enough to keep our minds off the 500 point dip in the stock market.  Plus, we really want to have some time with friends…need some “down time”…

God says: BE STILL …He knows that we are strengthened in our rest.  But, more than that, if we don’t BE STILL, we will undoubtedly miss that “still, small voice”.  Satan, the master and author of confusion, wants us to live in the loud, overwhelming activity and movement of life.  Our God does speak loudly at times…but most of the time the Lord will not compete with the noise that we create and/or allow around us.  Being Still…taking time alone to pray and meditate on Him…shutting out everything and everybody…is part of the self-discipline that is required to develop and maintain a REAL relationship with God.  We must make time and space to meet Him in silence and in stillness.

God says: BE STILL AND KNOW …I figure you can give me a few facts about George Washington or Abraham Lincoln.  You know about them… but you don’t KNOW them.  In 5, 10, 20, 30 years… would we really KNOW the people we graduated with?  Do we KNOW GOD or are we satisfied with KNOWING ABOUT HIM?  To maintain any relationship, to KNOW GOD, requires ongoing communication…time spent talking, listening…learning and understanding His heart and mind through the Word.

God says: BE STILL AND KNOW THAT I AM …Our Father said “I AM”.  He doesn’t remind us of who HE was, nor does He tell us who He would becoming.  He never changes… His priorities, His rules, His commands do not and will never change.  He is ever-present…forever the same.

God says: BE STILL AND KNOW THAT I AM GOD We easily argue our point of view with people around us.  We readily stand up for ourselves…or wear martyr-like self-pity.  But the truth is WE DON’T GET TO MAKE OUR OWN DECISIONS.  We are not our own; we’ve been “bought with a price” (1Cor 6:20).  I’ve seen bumper stickers that say “God is my co-pilot” and I’d have to respectfully disagree.  God, Christ and the Holy Spirit is to be the pilot and we are to “die to self”.  Everything else is disobedience.  We must remember that the greatest among us will serve (Matt 23:11)…and that our God is on His throne and He is the KING

Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth
Psalm 46:10